Looking Forward To/I Will Miss

I try to write some thoughtful reflections on things, but I never get very far. I'm the sort of person who likes to focus on the future rather than the present when things get challenging--why focus on the horrific heat and humidity when there are jobs to apply for?--so really I have been trying my hardest to stay focused on that which I can change rather than on those things I can't.

I never thought at this point in my service I would be excited to go back to America, but I really am. There's a whole list of things I miss, look forward to, and will surely appreciate more than I ever did before, about living in the first world (of course, people live in the first world in South Africa--but not Peace Corps Volunteers). In no particular order:

1. Doing the laundry.
This falls into the (large) category of things that I think most of my compatriots and I shamefully take for granted in modern America, judging by some (American) people's pathetic Facebook statuses about having to do the laundry, and, indeed, my own past wimpiness about it. You mean you have to collect your dirty clothes, possibly into a receptacle, move them in their entirety to a machine, put them in the machine with soap (and possibly quarters), and push a button? The horror! Lest I sound overly mocking, I was definitely the worst offender. I was known to mysteriously start napping when it was time for "us"--Tim and I--to do the wash.

Try doing it without a washing machine, or even a sink with running water. This requires a big bucket, and lots and lots of plunging with your hands or other utensils. And lots of wringing out and re-plunging. And the clothes don't even really get clean.

Not everyone in the first world has a dryer though they sure are prolific in the states. On this side drying in not too horrible (see #2, below), but good luck if it rains or stays cool and humid throughout the day. Then you have moldy, not-quite-clean clothes.

OK, so getting to a laundromat is not too fun. Still, I'm really looking forward to laundry in America.

2. The lack of inescapable heat (and humidity).
I thought I was over this one, until the rains stopped completely while the temperature sky-rocketed, which I would have thought was impossible, since it was already really hot. For about 2 weeks now it has been 100F degrees during the day, going down to 80 in the evening and around 70 before the sun rises (when we start running). We have a fan, but sometimes you just want it to not be that hot, you know? Like when you turn on the air conditioning, or go to someone else's house with air conditioning, or to a coffee shop with air conditioning.

Our school staff room has air conditioning, but it also sometimes has corporal punishment happening, so it is not always a safe haven.

The humidity is also relentless. Running with sunglasses on around or after sunrise, my sunglasses are perpetually fogged over. Sweat doesn't evaporate so your body starts working in overdrive, like a car stuck in first gear for too long. I was pleased to discover that 1,000,000% humidity actually means we are training much harder that we would be otherwise, since our race is at a much higher elevation...but a day without horrific heat or humidity would be nice, too.

3. Indoor plumbing.
This has been remarkably easy to do without, but as the heat increases so do my yearnings for running water, hot and cold, shooting out shower heads, going down sink and toilet drains, that kind of thing. Now I see it as the kind of thing one *can* do without, but is also really worth appreciating when one has it. Going to a hotel where I can flush when I'm done and don't have to pee in a bucket at night makes me feel like the Queen of England now. In a way, I feel like I could live anywhere in the world now...as long as there is precious indoor plumbing.

4. Fast internet.
Also on the list of "are you seriously complaining about this when you live in America?" is fast, usually working internet access. This is something which I think really separates the global haves from the have-nots these days, as you can get internet in a lot of places now, but the *kind* of internet the first world takes for granted is *not* available universally. I feel this divide on a regular basis in rural South Africa when I try to stay in touch with friends, network and apply for jobs, and just entertain myself. Everyone these days seems to want to share videos, songs, and webpages filled with images, and none of this is accessible at our internet speed. One of my best friends made a website for friends and family living far away about her wedding plans which is totally non-loadable for me (I think it's the music, or something about the initial download). Kind of a bummer. More of a bummer are job application websites which require clicking a million different buttons, or clicking a million buttons which thereafter require other minor things to load which one has to wait for lacking high-speed internet. Filling out a few pages of information which would take a few minutes with fast internet can take hours for us. This is just one reason why it is worth going home without a job: it's hard to get a job from here.

Which reminds me...

5. Talking on the phone.
I was not big into talking on the phone before--hence like running water, this is something I have come to regard as a sign of living the high life now, because I don't miss it as much as I am looking forward to it. I had to reschedule a job interview a few weeks back because my cell reception was so bad (and land lines don't exist in our village). Talking on the phone is also beyond our budget on our Peace Corps Living Allowance, so we never do it even when we can. It will be nice in America to make and receive phone calls, keep in touch with the folks back home, that sort of thing.

6. Casual drinking.
Though healthy living has been one awesome benefit of our service--we've hardly ever been sick here, and eat vegetables and whole grains for nearly every meal--it will be nice to once again be in a social context where a few glasses of wine or beer on a night out doesn't distinguish you as part of a deviant class, whose members range from casual drinkers to serious alcoholics. In relation, I know Tim and I both miss craft beers, fine wines, and mixed drinks. In the village we do not buy any alcohol, though we may smuggle some back from shopping in town occasionally (as recommended by Peace Corps/South Africa). It'll be nice to be somewhere once again where there is a spectrum of normal to unhealthy drinking, rather than a solid line distinguishing drinkers from nondrinkers, where Tim and I are never sure where we fit, since we don't want to be (nor do we see ourselves as) social deviants just because we sometimes enjoy a drink or two. It'll be nice to be able to suggest grabbing a beer with a colleague again without worrying about (a) what that colleague will think of me, and (b) whether than colleague can drink moderately rather than heavily.



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I feel like I am being negative about South Africa now. Let's look at the flip side--some things I'll miss about my rural South African life.

1. Being healthy, on a budget.
It's hard to know whether this one is just me, because in America I found it hard to buy groceries in an economical way and cook them and be healthy, and much easier and more worthwhile to go out to eat to get healthy foods (if you know me, you know this is true, though I know it sounds laughable)...so long as I was earning enough to include the expense in my budget. Here, there are no restaurants in our area, and our diet is very limited but very healthy. Surprisingly vegan items are very cheap, whereas in America I remember many of them being quite expensive. We eat probably 95% vegan here--just some eggs, and yogurt with my cereal--and lots of vegetables and fruits and grains all the time. We are not struggling for protein with veggie burgers and hot dogs available at our grocery store, and soyamince--a beef enhancement product which is respectable in a sauce--is very cheap and everywhere. I think I'll even bring some home to show my vegetarian friends the wonder of cheap, readily available meat substitute in the developing world.

2. Animals.
The ones in the parks and in Botswana and Zimbabwe, and the ones we live with, the goats who hide in our garage during the rain, the cows who eat our discarded onion peelings and other produce waste, the chickens who come over at dinner time every night for scraps...

3. Being open about race.
I realize this is a major generalization, but America has some funny issues with everyone being the same. It would be nice if men and women were identical, and black and white people were the same in every way except their skin color...or would it? It's a question worth pondering. But the question I find myself pondering more often here is why it is taboo in many settings in America to really talk about these things. It's as if one is a racist or a feminist or a misogynist if they bring up the issue at all, and everyone who prefers that no one talk about it is free of biases. I don't think so.

Here, people talk about skin color, and not just black and white, but shades in between. Some whites (Afrikaners) and other whites (British) sometimes have problems with each other, as occasionally do some blacks and other blacks (there are a lot of different language groups). People are different from each other, and skin color is one characteristic among others that makes a difference for identity wherever you go. The skin tones and other differences have a historical meaning, from the Apartheid era. Apartheid ended in 1994, but guess what? Most adults remember it, and it has effected their lives. I would argue likewise in America that we do not live in a colorblind society just because legislation started encouraging us to some forty or fifty years ago, and wishing it was so doesn't make it so. I challenge anyone who thinks talking about or mentioning race is "boring" or inappropriate to think about and say what they really mean.

4. Respecting one's elders.
There are ways to do this which benefit me personally (the Zulu way) and ways which do not (the Setswana way), but I like regarding my principal and my landlord as "father" and older women as "mother," and I like when people who are younger than me are courteous to me and it's not in some fake, "Can I help you with that, ma'am?" kind of forced way. It's just part of a general politeness.

Also related is greeting people traditionally, which is hard for a lot of volunteers (including myself) at first, but which is awesome, when you think about it. Don't ask me for a favor, before asking me how I am doing today! Again, there are more and less authentic ways people can express interest in one another as part of a social habit or custom of everyday life, but it will still be sad to me in America when people want to get over the pleasantries, when pleasantries are nice.

In relation...

5. A slower pace of life.
Sometimes this infuriates me as I am mad multi-tasker, or I was, before I came here. But the reasons greeting people is regarded as mere pleasantries in many places in America (primarily the cities, on the East Coast, if I may once again generalize and stereotype American culture broadly...) is that people are in a hurry. Greeting "works" here, because people are actually (and able to be) interested in each other. In the village there is no balance required between the demands of work and the demands of socializing--socializing usually comes before work. You could even say that socializing is more systematic and extensive here (at least in the village) than in the states, that people take socializing more seriously, in fact. But now I am afraid I am crossing the line between identifying things I will miss about my particularly situation here and commenting on social differences, and this blog is already overlong and loaded with comparisons about my life here and in the states that risk being read as ridiculous large-scale generalizations.


We are tentatively planning at this point to return to America in mid-April. Among our major priorities will be visiting folks all along the West Coast and in Champaign, Illinois. Please have your washing machines, indoor plumbing, air conditioning, and microbrews ready, and your high-speed internet and cell phones at hand. We'll bring the slower pace of life and the Soyamince, the social justice and race talk, and the old-timey respect for elders and manners. Get ready.