Being an Expat

Lately I've been thinking about being an expat--what that means. I hear people throwing around this term, usually in a negative way. The "ugly expat," we know, is a person who goes to another country and acts as if they expect things to be the way they are back home. Then there is a whole subcategory, of the foreign aid-working expat. Blogs are devoted to stereotyping this group, usually in an amusing way. I related to these stereotypes as a Peace Corps Volunteer in South Africa, though I was an unpaid, temporary volunteer, rather than a traditional, more permanently based, aid worker, then. The expat aid worker is said to brag about their rough conditions--the harsher the better--and enjoy posting on Facebook about funny or wacky cultural encounters, things like that.

The longer I live outside the U.S. the less these stereotypes resonate with me, however. Expats move abroad because of so many different situations, and they are as diverse, if not more diverse, than "nationals": people living in their "own" country. Sure, there are "ugly expats," who want nothing to do with local culture or are unable to appreciate it due to a lack of information or experience, or fear. But more likely, this stereotype reflects an expat on a bad day, or one who is on their way "home," or not adjusting well. One time at a grocery store here, I felt exemplary of the ugly expat. First, the line I got into and unloaded my groceries at hit a speed bump, and I waited while watching four or five people who were behind me got rung up at another register. Then, mysteriously, my bank card didn't go through. Discombobulated upon paying with cash I had just taken out and trying to organize myself before leaving, I loudly (and passive-aggressively) said "excuse me," to the man who had bagged my groceries, who then had them in hand and was on his way out to the parking lot to help me, presumably to put the groceries in my fancy expat car (silly, we are only getting our fancy expat car on Saturday!). A slight hush fell around me, as I had become the ugly expat. But really it was just a frustrating situation! Or not...you decide.

But, the thing is, the bagger was an expat, as was the lady who rung me up. Expats aren't all rich and white.

Another interesting thing about being an expat is the degree of openness in the society you enter into, to you being yourself. I have been so impressed here in Abu Dhabi about the tolerance to others exhibited by nationals, and fellow expats from different places. Especially compared with South Africa. Admit to partaking ever in alcohol in the wrong crowd in South Africa, or that you have a different religious orientation than they do, and you are prejudged harshly by people you had previously thought of as open and friendly. Here it is broadly accepted that people do different things, depending on where they come from. Some people in America complain about Muslims practicing their religion more or less privately, while in Abu Dhabi governmental organizations and workplaces make substantive arrangements to accommodate Christian and other non-national norms. White women (usually tourists, not expats) who walk around here dressed like hookers are generally treated with respect by people from here and abroad, while some women who wear various (non-Christian or Catholic) head coverings in the United States can be harassed or otherwise victimized for dressing differently than the local norms.

The tolerance of UAE society is exceptional, of course. The UAE has depended on expats to transmit knowledge and help build a society literally from the sand up in the last forty years, wisely recognizing that money without diverse and lengthy experience does not make a strong, sustainable society flourish. In Abu Dhabi and Dubai nationals are thus a small minority compared with the many foreigners who work for better wages than they can get back home (be they high or low by your standards).

So, being a non-ugly expat is surely easier here than it is in some places, like South Africa, where in less open environments expats are known for going to bars in tight groups and getting wasted, stuff like that. Here there is a flourishing, but open, expat culture. Americans, Brits, and Aussies and the like go to buffet breakfasts on the weekends and fancy hotel restaurants to have nice meals and drinks, while Indians, Lebanese, and others also have strong cultural traditions they are able to bring with them at ease. And in the mix always are Emirates, who enjoy diverse food and drink ("mocktails") and expat culture as a gift which is part and parcel of living in their home country.

I was a bit worried at first, after our immersive South African experience, that we would be too removed from Arab or Emirati culture as expat workers here. But I do not feel this way now. Though it is not every day that I interact with nationals, many days I do, and I also work closely with Lebanese, Palestinian, and Sudanese Arab speakers. I also work with Americans, Aussies and South Africans, and tons of Indians. This country really is a fantastic melting pot.

Perhaps this is why the "expat" concept of a culture of isolated foreigners hiding out or lashing out in foreign lands ceases to resonate with me these days. Or perhaps I am becoming comfortably numb to the issues, with all the air conditioning, running water, and fantastic Thai take-out I have been consuming lately. Am I a foreign aid worker? Not in the traditional or stereotypical sense these days, though I am helping develop a young nation in higher education. There are no updates bragging about the extreme conditions we live in (other than the extremely luxurious conditions!), but wacky cultural interchanges can still happen, and do. In sum, while I still want to avoid the ugly expat stereotype myself, I am beginning to wonder how truthful it is as a generalization about people who go abroad to live and work. It is a unique situation, but then again, so would be our life in the United States.